Imagine: you take a spoon of mustard. Then you add some pepper, followed by half a bottle of Tabasco. Now put the spoon in your mouth. That taste should feel a little like the new Sylvester Stallone movie. It’s all about the hotness of celebrity names … and much less about the quality of the product itself!
The good thing is: everyone knows what they can expect from this complete idiocy of a popcorn movie. Gone is the surprise. Instead you get a shotgun-loud action movie with bombastic explosions in which thousands of bullets miss their target, whilst an army of one-dimensional bad guys try to win a war they can never win … simply because they’re the bad guys!
In short: The expendables 2 is a movie where everything is blown up and torn apart with the biggest KABANG!
A movie that contains so much testosterone and unmistakable winks to blockbusters from a greater past – let’s not forget the absurd fighting sequences – that the movie has about the same amount of character depth and story as your average teenage rom-com.
But there is one major difference between every dumb-ass Hollywood blockbuster and this one.
The expendables 2 knows it’s stupid! It knows it’s dumb and loud and utterly shallow. Then again, this movie was never made to leave behind a deeper impression or to send a political message into the world.
Much like part I, The expendables 2 is nothing more than a throw-back to the 1980’s when making movies was real ‘show’-business. Whether it was horror (A nightmare on Elm Street), action (Commando), Science-fiction (Ghostbusters) and even the awesomeness of classic television shows (The A-Team) – the golden ’80s was raving with insane adventures and belly-shaking merriment.
In the category ‘we don’t take anything too serious’, Syllie Stallone goes back to wonderful nostalgia and releases a sequel onto the world that’s so absurd that you cannot but love this movie with every beat of your heart. Whichever way you slice it, this is one movie you will enjoy!
As it goes with being a big name in Hollywood, Stallone was able to contract some of the bulkiest names in American entertainment. Actors who either started their careers in the 1980’s, or loved the era with all of their heart!
As before – though in a slightly bigger part – there’s Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bruce Willis who are joined to the hip as the inseparable duo of bullet-spewing action heroes. Their parts were nothing more than cameos, but thank God, they’re given a bigger role to play in this sequel.
Furthermore, there’s also faster-than-his-own-shadow Martial Arts master Jet Li and tougher-than-leather military man Jason Statham. Especially the last one may showcase all of his coolest tricks on screen, as he swings his legs and/or arms about as if he was a puppet on a string.
Last but not least: there’s also bulky bodyguard-blokes Randy Couture, Dolph Lundren and Terry Crews who are more than happy to join the party!
As if there weren’t enough muscled guys running around, the movie introduces a couple of newbies!
New comers are Chuck Norris and the only Belgian (so far) famous enough that he is quoted in other movies, Jean-Claude Van Damme. Whereas the first one gets nothing more than a pretty lousy sidekick-role, the second one may actually take on the role of the big baddie.
Painful as it may sound, you do not wanna watch this movie … and expect any good performances.
Norris acts as if someone put a clothes hanger in his spine and Van Damme does little more than smirking like a moron or demonstrating his one and only super-famous ‘all-round-kick’ which opened up a road of fame and fortune for him, roughly 25 years ago.
Luckily the movie is freshened up by the presence of Nan Yu.
Yup, as the only woman surrounded by a group of gorilla-IQ tough guys, her role is unfortunately enough trimmed to playing the local tour operator, but hopefully we’ll get much more ‘Girl Power’ in deel III.
Who knows: maybe even Angelina Jolie will make an appearance … or how about the long-time-no-see but always tough-as-nails Terminator-girl Linda Hamilton, now there’s two women who can kick some serious ass!!
In spite of the lack of feminine force, The expendables 2 is everything you hoped for as an action junky!
The sequel may not be better than part I, but it’s definitely more fun to watch, despite being so obviously empty in the story- and acting-department.
The bad guys fall like flies on the ground. Buildings and cars are being blown up just for the fun of it, as if WOIII has just started. And every single money-making Hollywood name may prance around for minutes in a non-stop parade of soaring bullets and steel-hard fist fights.
One little fun-fact before we lock & load:
At the very end of the movie the leading trio of action heroes give a big fat wink towards the audience, so much so that you almost forget you’re watching a movie. It almost looks like a reality show … it really does!
(Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger & Sylvester Stallone stare at each other and nod with a happy smile: “This was fun!”, which doesn’t only subscribe of how their characters enjoyed shooting the bad guys, but also of how the trio enjoyed making the movie together!)
Did you know?
Chuck Norris is the pop culture subject of countless larger than life “Chuck Norris facts” created by fans. The film’s cast and crew jumped on the bandwagon when Norris arrived in Bulgaria, creating a new one: “Chuck Norris doesn’t visit Bulgaria, Bulgaria visits Chuck Norris.”
Give it to me short:
The real fun & games of watching this manhole of muscles is not so much the performances of the actors, nor is it the way this movie was made, but simply the overzealous action fighting sequences and explosions this movie contains.
Director Simon West (primarily known for making Con air and Tomb Raider) launches an entire truck of big names onto the movie-watching world and has them share the silver screen, surrounded by stupendously stupid one-liners and cheap winks to old popcorn blockbusters.
It’s a pity that there’s a serious and almost disrespectful lack of female force in this movie – why not cast Angelina Jolie, Linda Hamilton or Signourney Weaver? – but don’t let that little flaw destroy your fun in watching this movie!
The Expendables 2 is a never-ending thrill-ride of fun & games … a shooting gallery where bullets fly around like a wild nest of poisonous wasps … non-stop fun guaranteed!
One important side-note: you don’t need your brains to enjoy this empty filler of an action movie …